Be Supportive as Kids Return to the Classroom
According to Mental Health America, young people are feeling lonelier than ever. There has been a rise in the rates of anxiety, depression, suicide and other mental health conditions in youth and adolescent populations over the past 10 years. Physical changes that occur during adolescence make for an intense and confusing time on their own without the added stressors of school and school safety, financial insecurities at home, social media pressures, loss of loved ones, bullying and climate change; these are just some of the factors contributing to mental health challenges our youth are experiencing.
Research has shown that human brain circuitry is not mature until the mid-20's. Some of the last connections to be fully established are the links between the prefrontal cortex and the limbic system, which are responsible for judgment, problem-solving, emotional learning and self-regulation. A combination these physical changes and the speed at which information is coming at them has kids and adolescents navigating a lot while trying to settle back into a school routine. Giving them tools to cope and keeping the lines of communication open are really important.
As parents, being aware of school and social pressures and helping kids with confidence are key tethers as they return to classrooms, find new friend groups and participate in extracurriculars. Here are a few basic strategies that go a long way.
Root for them. Validation is something everyone looks for, but that is especially true with this age group. Recognize their successes while letting them know that they – not their accomplishments – are what matter most to you.
Keep an eye out for patterns or triggers. Sometimes it is hard for people to see what might be contributing factors to their feelings. If you can identify when and why they become ill at ease or even withdraw and shut down, you can better learn how to help
Encourage goal setting. A lot of confidence comes when goals are reached, and lists are checked off. Offer insight when they try to identify what their goals might be, starting with smaller goals to build confidence and offer support to reach them. When they are feeling low, encourage them to list three things they have recently done well such as finished a hard assignment, helped someone open their locker, finished practice even though they wanted to go home, etc.
Pay attention to self-talk. Kids are always listening. If you are in a habit of expressing negative comments about yourself, they might adopt a similar behavior.
Foster open communication. Kids may not always start conversations. While it is essential to respect your child’s space, look for opportunities to ask open ended questions like, “What were you up to today?” “Anything new happen?” It is important to listen, taking time to respond and choosing to not react “by fixing it” if they share something troubling. Do not be afraid to share some of your own struggles and how you got through.
The efforts of parents and school personnel to better understand current challenges and stressors for kids will help create a system of support that will surely be appreciated even when kids are not outwardly showing it.
Robin Greiner, L.M.S.W., is a behavioral health therapist at MyMichigan Health.
